Ahoy-hoy again from Funemployment Land. It’s like Disney, but far less expensive, and it doesn’t include a monopoly on much of current pop culture.

You’re probably asking yourself the same thing I have been for about the last three weeks – how does she manage to end up in these situations time and time again?

Job hopping is not something I want to do. Although rabbits are extremely cute, I am not big on doing an impression of one.

Let’s get this one out of the way:

Over the past three years, I’ve held three different roles, each with unique challenges.

Two of those moves were intentional decisions to leave environments that ultimately weren’t the right cultural or personal fit. I’ve learned I crave alignment with values, leadership, and communication styles. If these tenets aren’t aligned at the highest levels, it trickles down to the rest of the organization and not in a healthy way.

My most recent role ended due to budget cuts.

While not ideal, it has created space for me to reflect and refocus on finding a role and organization where I can contribute meaningfully and grow with stability.

I’d like to stop hopping and burrow.

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Oh, Why Me?

No, this is not me asking for brie cheese to accompany my merlot, although I am sure it could come off that way. Rather, this is my updated list of reasons why I’d make an excellent addition to your team. 

• Adaptation remains my bread and butter.
  
  In my time as a digital marketer, copywriter, and devourer of knowledge, I’ve amassed a near-endless number of new skill sets, and I’ve literally lost count. I am now well-versed in:
  
  WordPress
  Google Analytics/GA4MailChimp
  Adobe Creative Suite (yes, a writer who can use Photoshop)
  Hubspot
  Buffer
  Salesforce (that’s a bit of a cheat – I learned that at Angie’s List)
  Hootsuite
  Google AdWords
  SEMRush 
  UX/UI Design
  Local SEO 
  MuckRack 
  Amazon Third-Party Sales
  1WorldSync Content Syndication 
  
  

  What I’m trying to reiterate is that I am a big fan of learning new tricks and techniques to take my writing game to the next level, and I’m a fast learner.
  
  Secondarily, all of this continuing education has paid off – here are some stats to put my money where my mouth is, so to speak:

  Towne Post Network
• Reported a 106% increase in total website sessions, driven by improved organic search optimization YOY.
• Increased Facebook impressions by 99.1% and post impressions by 127%, with post likes more than doubling at +107% YOY.
  
  Caster Communications
• Helped execute launch campaign for Trident IoT in August 2023, netting 55 media mentions in the first two weeks post-launch after being employed with the organization for six weeks.
  
  Matchbook Creative
• Wrote and executed a paid ad campaign for Achieve Virtual School, generating a 600% increase in web traffic year-over-year in 2022.
  
  Klipsch/Premium Audio Company
• Oversaw year-over-year organic growth of more than 50% for Klipsch.com (Spring 2020).
  
  Sells Group
• Took Dr. John Townsend’s Instagram following from 120 to 1000+ in 5 months.
  
  Gannett Digital/DealChicken.com
• Tripled the Indianapolis subscriber list and market profits in one year.
  
  Not too shabby. 
  
  2. I am NOT a flake. I love Corn Flakes (or at least I used prior to going gluten-free), but I don’t like flakes in real life. If I say something will be done, take my word for it. When I am assigned tasks or brainstorming ideas, you can guarantee it will come to life one way or another. I believe in keeping my promises in my professional and personal lives. 

3. I’m perpetually early.

I’ve been 15 minutes early to absolutely everything in my life, including meetings I didn’t know were canceled.

4. I’m semi-interesting.

Okay, so maybe this isn’t indicative of job performance. However, I have several major awards for pieces I wrote and produced during my previous life as a journalist. Archie Manning once told me I had an eating disorder. I lived in New Orleans for three years, worked with the Saints for two years, was a guest on my Dad’s beloved “Nancy Grace Show” six times, played roller derby on and off for a decade, and am a purple belt in Brazilian jiu-jitsu.

I have a steel-trap memory and am the best possible person to have on a trivia team, particularly if it’s musical trivia. In college, my friends invented a drinking game for the show “Rock and Roll Jeopardy,” in which if I got a question right, everyone else would drink.

5. I care. 

I have never half-assed anything in my life. I care about my work, its quality, and I care how people spell and write. If anything, I probably care too much about grammar and diction. Is there such a thing as caring too much about proper sentence structure? I think not. 

 

I don’t think ChatGPT is the answer when you can hire someone with a brain and more than just a polite tone and style. Yes, real human connection is worth it. 

Bonus: I do a mean Bart Simpson impression…just ask. 

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